I have been analyzing my own past and present friendships. I would like to classify these into different categories without mentioning names. Have heard so much abt the power of positive or negative influence and so it goes without saying we are the direct reflection of the company we keep. As human as I am, and assuming you are too, with my strengths and misdemeanours. I know you will identify with some friends like these. Im such a gal and write in my capacity as a woman so excuse the she, her reference. This goes out to the brothers too.
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- The mentor
She is usually a few yrs older than you are, the successful, humble gal next door who seems to have it all. You might not directly suck up to her but you inwardly envy her bcos she has a success story that you can only dream off. She got the home , the ride, beautiful kids and a good man. If you close enough to know her, she has a good heart, always ready to give good counsel. Outwardly she is a strong woman but deep inside she has gone through a lot. She is a true testimony that hard work and patience pays. When you think of her, you are inspired and motivated to be the best you can be. She becomes BIG SISTER, always guiding you, patient with you and pours out lots of love. Best of all she passes down all the good stuff and unknowingly moulds you into a ‘superwoman’ as she tastes how deep the waters are for you. From her you learn, to hustle and survive with tried and tested antics. You find very little bad in her. Unlike our next groups, its not in her to fight you, or compare herself to you. She has been there, done that and simply lives her life. She is both support and backup. A find to cherish.
- The competition
You two go back a long way. You grew up together, probably went to the same school and she knows all your boyfriends and wont let you forget abt that jerk you dated in yo teenage years, she knows your life inside out and defines you from what she knows abt you and your background. On a normal day she is a good friend but inwardly there is a whole lot of judging each other, If you on the side, she is a reminder of what should have been but is not about you. Like we termed her, she is always out to check what you have done well and not and life nje is a constant battle to see who between you two is more successful. On the flip side she is your pillar when you go through stuff. She will listen wen you need someone to unload to, she may however withhold her true side for the fear of hurting you, but she is there when you need her .She may or may not celebrate yo successes but through it all she is your bosom buddy. Cant live without her, cant live with her. There is a little of her in all of us.
3. The diva
LG – life’s good is her personal motto. I call her that with one person in mind. She loves the bling life , loves attention and very social. Her avatar is a rock star babe, complete with the look that can only spell F-A-B-O-U-L-O-U-S-I-T-Y. In another life she would want to be beyonce or kimora simmonds. She is outspoken, regularly blurts out a careless word without warning but remains the darling she is. There is never a dull moment with her. You are guaranteed lots of laughter and entertainment. She breaks the ice so well when need be. She practically lives in high heels and would spend what ever her pocket permits to look good. She is a great individual with a flair personality. She knows the a-z where fashion, makeup and all things girly- fairy are concerned. She thinks of you as being too conservative and would only be happy to be your personal stylist on call. On the flipside there is something blond about her. She is not entirely dumb, I call it ignorance, she chooses what her life is about. She has little or no clue of current news, her life whirls around her, focusing on what is more important to her. On a personally level, you two may not have any emotional relationship – she appears distant at most times becos life is too good to allow the negative to damper her. She is a beautiful soul. You gotta love her. She lives to live. The life of the party.
4 The clone
I personally don’t like this one. For some reason you were separated at birth. You have little common physical features but she is a clone to your taste in just about anything. You share one too many personal preferences. Worse still mentally she shares the same views on this life. You like the same look, fall for the same type of guy, love the music and mostly likely your lives are at par. You typically meet through a common interest and she will be like ‘that’s my song’ and privately that’s your no1. hit but blurting that out would seem like ‘you trying to be her’. You exchange ideas or opinions based on that commonality, besides that you are in no close friendship but you are aware of her existence and acknowledge a kinda minimal alliance.
As a rule, a silent one – your friendship doesn’t really mature. You are friends in that she is you and you are her in some way. You randomly communicate in person, it always turns out as a ventilation of your silent thoughts. A lot of communication goes without saying words. Actions speak louder because she is always on your side. Deep inside you are rivals because it makes no sense why you living outside of your own body in another. She is a type of avatar, only she bears the reflection in the mirror.
5 The stranger
You two cross paths on one of life’s journey, most likely in a social event or in a long distance trip. You have no history together but immediately drawn to each other. First impressions count and somehow the whole encounter sessions begets an outpour of all the 20 something years you have been alive. You both trusting and the conversation never ends. You share the life’s joys and pains and you wonder where this person has been all your life bcos they seem to understand you. You exchange contact details and promise to keep in touch but as such is life, you try for a few times before you give in to life’s pressures.
With the advent of e-networking & social technology, you lucky to find her on facebook and so begins another vicious circle of random communication and seemingly never ending conversations. You catch up, only to go silent again but each time it feels like they have not missed anything at all. This gal is not there in everyday life but you two have a bond that cannot be explained. Secretly, you wish she lived next door but the nature of your friendship would not allow for TMI. Its fine she is not in your face everyday. You embrace your friendship like that
6. The mate
What brings you together is your everyday life. Depending on where you invest most of your time, its where you meet, your marketplace wherever that might be- @ work, school or play. You develop a close relationship based on a common activity, in this case work. You are at arms length to each other, definitely not bosom buddies. You often have a one on one talk just to chat a little further than the weather but most conversations resolve around your business with the addition of office gossip. You are comfortable in each other’s skin. She knows the basics of your background and the kind of information you share is in safe mode. The skeletons are left to the closet. Your interactions outside the workplace are minimal, a random call but nothing significant to warrant hours on the phone nor scoops of ice cream at the mall. You have a personal liking to each other that goes a little further than just the business of the day. The friendship has potential to be so much more but alas, you already have the friend who fits the bill above. Life is what it is, no expectations, no disappointments.
7. The e- buddy
This relatively new born friendship arises from interactions online. In real life the chances of meeting are null but you are fond of each other. This friendship has - I think more of a flipside that any of the above. Pretence is the order of the day, its really hard to get to know the real person. They only let out what they want.
8. The dude
Through the female eyes there is always one member of the opposite sex we friends with. Friends as in just friends with no secret ambition to become more, (on both sides). He is male in every sense and secretly the more open brother. You get along like siblings and the friendship is at that level. He truly is more of a brother, when you need to share stuff especially at an emotional level. He also regularly drops good advice in life matters like career choices, first car and will happily assist you in those hard to do DIY jobs for your home. He knows a whole lot about you, he comes in handy where relationships are concerned. He comforts you when your heart has been broken and gives you tips here and there, he becomes the punchbag when need be. He becomes my way of understanding the male species and in return I share what he wants to know abt gals, gals…
The one weakness of the dude on the female side that becos he is such a good man, he becomes a benchmark for all future partners.
For as long as the friendship is taken for its worth, it’s one damn good one.
9. The ex
I chose to name him the ex becos of where we coming from. From lovers to friends. Like the dude friendship this is another controversial friendship you might say. It’s a complicated friendship because you need to draw the line assuming that u both involved in new relationships and you done with the past romantic link.
10 The buddy- buddy
She is rare find, your right hand gal. Close to perfection as can be. All my comradees fall here. This gal will go hungry for you. She has your best interests at heart and your friendship has matured to accept and embrace both your strengths n weakness.
True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost. Im sure you can catch the drift concerning her.
In closing most of these categories overlap, we can all individually identify with some characters in each. We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.
The question to ask is which friend are you?
And interestingly can you place all your friends into at least each of the types
I can!!
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